Archive for May, 2013

Pity me – Convicted

“When we pity ourselves, all we focus on is ourselves. We only see our problems. We don’t see any of the good things in our lives.”

Smile-Frown Neduzi

Seven Reasons Why Self-Pity Is a Sin (C.Fitzwater)

  • Self-pity is a refusal to accept trials as a test of faith, thus inhibiting our own growth toward maturity and completion in Christ.  (“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete…”  James 1:2-4  NIV)
  • Self-pity demands that  you are entitled to a certain quality of life that has not been promised to you in Scripture.  (Jesus says, “…In this world you will have trouble.”  John 16:33  NIV)
  • Self-pity dilutes your compassion for others, as you elevate your own suffering to a place of prominence.  (“…be compassionate…”  1 Peter 3:8  NIV)
  • Self-pity is married to grumbling and complaining.  (“Do everything without complaining…”  Philippians 2:14  NIV)
  • Self-pity ousts gratitude.  (“Be thankful.”  Colossians 3:15  NIV)
  • Self-pity fills your time with useless whining and moaning instead of prayers for help and rescue from the Almighty God.  (“Call upon me in the day of trouble…”  Psalm 50:15  NIV)
  • Self-pity will only accept joy that comes from reversal of circumstances instead of joy that comes from the Lord.  (“Rejoice in the Lord always…”  Philippians 4:4  NIV



“Each day is a special gift from God, and while life may not always be fair, you must never allow the pains, hurdles, and handicaps of the moment to poison your attitude and plans for yourself and your future.”



Still, I wait.


Night fell.

Again, alone.

Lights off,

Eyes closed.


I hear my heart pounding in my chest,

as I struggle grasping just for one breath.


Against the windowsill I lay

High up.

While the world,

Its lights, it’s glamour

quietly corrupts.


Cool breeze.

Chills race up my spine.

I lean in, shuddering,

Numbness making the scars feel just fine.


The anticipation rises.
Impregnated with fear

Resigned to deliver,

but unable to bear.

See. I’m never ready.

Again and again

I try to stay steady


I’ve tried to escape

But no longer


I just wait.



I won’t fight.


Our understanding is simple,

I’m wrong, it’s right.


All day I’ve tried to hide

But the night always reveals

what the light hides.


I finally see things the way they are,

or the way I’ve created them to be.


Years of running and hiding

But never finding peace to set me free



It envelops me once again,

Covering me till I almost feel its my friend.


Every night it comes

And so now

I simply wait

No longer hoping for an escape


Seconds, minutes

Minutes, hours


I call His Name!

And that night, it never came.


I pressed

I waited

I urged it onwards

But tonight its hold on me was no longer.



 “You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.”

(James 2:19)

 “That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth.”

(Philippians 2:10)

“Our struggle is not against flesh and blood… but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world.”

(Ephesians 6:12)



Fear and hopelessness is of the devil. But there is one greater. Call His name!

A Reflection of you

It was beautiful.

It sat.

Basking in the sun.


Relentless in the rain.

Mama, its scent was “oh so sweet!”

Swaying in the cool evening breeze. And yes, ever so soft.

But now?

She passed it by.

Come on. It was always there. I mean Yes, the first few times it made her pause–never even making it to her destination! Its beauty overwhelmed her.

And later, she paid homage every time she walked its way. One glance, and she knew she was blessed. One touch and she shared her love.

But day after day, week after week, month after month.

It was there.

And she rushed past it each day forgetting to pay homage. Forgetting to say, “Thank you,” or “I love you” In her heart she knew she earned it. She became blind to its beauty. Of course, she deserved its splendor! Those scents. That resilience. She owned it!

All around her, blessings became burdens, as they took away her ability to be grateful. She forgot the appreciation of the simple, and simply craved the acquisition of more. But the desperate hope was in the chase, and at the attainment—joy was fleeting. Its hope was simply replaced by the hope for more.

The bubble burst.

It began to wilt.

It’s scent changed and its beauty morphed.

The wind no longer caused its sway,

and resilience

was replaced by weariness.

And for a while, she didn’t even notice. But as her life fell into pieces, she began to slow down. No longer in a rush to get to her destination, she took time to look at the things around her. When she saw its once proud head bent and wilted she screamed! In anger she blamed it for its own demise. It was useless! Weak! And undeserving of her.

Fury blinded her. But looking up she saw much more like it. Growing proudly across the way.

Falling to her knees she knew it was her hand that gave the deathblow.

She neglected it.

Her love was supposed to make it thrive.

But she had forgotten to love what she had instead of always searching for more.

She turned her back and ran!

But she came back.

Fresh soil in her hands, she carefully knelt down. Placing the soil lovingly at its roots. Her tears were its water. And her love was its food.


Day after day. Week after week. Month after month.

It grew.

Till once again it stood tall and proud.

As it grew, she also began to change. She no longer rushed in her pursuit of more. Instead she found happiness in less. She began to be thankful for what she had instead of what she didn’t. And it all multiplied and grew the more.

reflection of you

Dont forget to love the people around you. They are an outward reflection of you.

Repeat after me…

ImageGod is real.


…The End.


I mean seriously, it’s that simple. There is no verse in the bible that proves this to me. And there is no situation in life that can disprove it to me either.


Look. There is no need to add fancy words or lovely phrases. And there is no need to quote the greatest theologians and prophets.


Because the truth is: God is not up there, ‘somewhere.’ He is right here. He is with me.


He is not a religion.
But He is life, and breath.

It is from Him I move and have my being. He is the reason I get up each morning, and knowing Him gives my life meaning. He is the reason that when all else crumbles around me I still see the way He is providing.


He is why I am saved.


In Him I find grace in my most sinful state.

This isn’t theology.
This isn’t abstract.


God touches my life in more ways than any earthly lover, father or friend ever could. And the most beautiful thing is: I don’t need to prove it to you. And guess what? I can’t either. God doesn’t need me to stand up emboldened at His defense. He is capable of doing that—on His own.

Because, after all, the most beautiful words in the bible don’t erase the sorrows that are so real in the lives of many. And you know what? It’s not supposed to.


The faith and trust that comes from having a personal relationship with God is the true balm to the sorrowful, and salve to the wounded.


Last time kids, repeat it with me: God. Is. Real. Whether you are happy, sad, or mad. Whether you are on the mountaintop or in the valley. He is ever-present, and always faithful.


Thus, the question that continues to perplex the most brilliant minds of this generation is not whether God is real.



But whether He is real to you. 

Wake Up

“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” -Romans 5:3-5

I sit silently. Here in the pouring rain. Happy at last.

I’ve found it.
Or maybe it found me.

A true covering for this pain.

Now I cry, and the world cries with me.

It seems fitting.

On this long journey I searched for one thing. Validation. Proof that I was intelligent, worthy, capable, valued. For years I was stumbling in the dark for words of praise I never found. My efforts were in vain—my cries were in vain. My self-induced misery was for naught. I was beside myself with grief. Yet, I myself, created the hell I lived in.

My hope hardened. It resigned itself to a mere existence of should-of, would-of, could-of… but didn’t. I lost myself in despair, until to despair itself was the norm. But one day, I woke up. The nightmare was self-perpetuating, and I realized that I, myself, was not powerless. Sleep could only hold me for as long as I let it. So, I woke up.

But still that thing I longed for was beyond reach.

I scrambled for crumbs.

I stood idly by like the woman in the bible. Nameless.

Jesus withdrew to Tyre.
A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him, crying out,
“Lord, have mercy on me! My daughter is demon-possessed and suffering terribly.”

Jesus answered her not a word.

The woman came and knelt before him. “Lord, help me!” she said.
He replied, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.”

Misery is no respecter of persons. Jesus came first to the Jews, and she a Gentile, sought Jesus at an inopportune time in an inconvenient place. There were people with greater burdens than her own. Her issue—not insignificant, but at such a time—impertinent.

Yet, like Jacob wrestling with the Angel, she fought with Jesus. She cried out to him in a loud voice. In her distress, strength filled her voice. It was her daughter. And as a mother, the pain could not have been greater than if it was she herself.

Yet Jesus answered not a word.

We are so fond of thinking of God as unhearing and unfeeling. But His silence speaks louder than words. What is He trying to tell you?

“…Lord,” she said. “Even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table.”

Even she, a Gentile. Unworthy, sinful, desperate. Yet she knew of her condition. She did not bow down in shame. She did not seek the validation of the Jews. But she came to the one person who could look past all outward appearances and conditions to examine her heart. Jesus read her need. He saw her struggle. He saw her faith. And when no one else would validate her—Jesus did.

Jesus’ disciples came to him and urged him, “Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us.”
Jesus spoke to her, “Woman. You have great faith! Your request is granted.”

And at that moment, her daughter was healed.

Despite her struggles, pain and burdens, In Him she found her help.

She found relief.

Wake up. Your help is here. He is here.

Let God fight for you -Morning Devotion


David chose the stone.

David walked on the battlefield.

David aimed the sling.

David slung the stone. But who killed Goliath?

According to David… God did.  (1 Samuel 17:46-47).

What battles or struggles are you facing? Your own strength will surely fail. Trust God to work for you today. Encourage yourself! God is with you. He will fight for you.

What is life

ImageWhat is life.


It reads likes a question,

but it speaks like a plea.


It has prayed. Until to pray is itself,



It’s not to suppose that there is no one to hear its petition, but only at the realization that it lacks the strength to utter its plea.


The tears don’t change reality. But with each tear it morphs. Outwardly recognizable, but inwardly its beat is slow,




Hope can be seen, but




And to grasp would be agony.


So it quietly subsists.

Alive, without living.

Observing without seeing.

Hearing but not listening.

Drowning out everything but the misery it’s fond of drowning in. 


Like darts short of the target it throws out the question:


But as words formed on ones lips and never spoken. The “Why” chokes and becomes:

 “Why not.”


Yet at the apex of its misery it finds its meaning. It finds itself not in the


the searching,

the hoping.


But rather in the perplexity of simple existence. It finds that the gift is not in acquisition but,



Life is beauty, peace, love. Life is her child’s screams. Her mother’s worry. Her husband’s feel.


Life is the grass under her bare feet. It’s the knowledge that the future can be vast, uncertain, and unbearable, but that today can still be amazing.


What is life?
It’s today.

Live it 🙂