Archive for July, 2013

Confession.

Dry your eyes sweetheart.

He’s not your one in a million.

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Yeah, so I know you’ve been out there looking for your soul mate. Searching high and low, desperate to find anything thing that moves, breathes, and lifts up the seat when he pees.

But let me save you the agony and disappointment; the hours of standing in front of the mirror before you go out. Wondering if you are pretty enough, thin enough, or graceful enough for him to finally take notice. You spend hours watching youtube videos: learning how to paint your face so you can look like someone you’re not, on the outside, just to attract someone who you hope will like you for who you are, on the inside.

And when you find him. Though he is 5 steps removed from perfect. You manage to convince yourself that perhaps maybe he is still the one for you.
When you leave his presence you wonder if he likes you, how often he thinks about you, and if he might learn to love you. But the truth of the matter is; 9 times out of 10, you are obsessing over someone who can hardly remember your name.

Look, your biological clock is not running out, but your common sense is. You’re caught up in the allusion that he can change, instead of realizing that the real problem is you. You are lost. Looking for someone to love you, when you don’t even love yourself. You are empty, broken, and hurt by all the thousand and one ways you think life has disappointed you. But what you don’t realize is that when you value yourself solely on the basis of what others think of you, you are the one who is disappointing yourself.

What happened to being a woman of grace, confidence, and pride? What happened to valuing yourself enough to know when to walk away? How come we can no longer find happiness outside of someone else’s embrace? We weren’t made just to warm sheets!

Because when the night is over, the lust wears off, and the makeup washes off, it is still you who has to face yourself in the mirror each day. And if you can’t love what you see; no amount of hugs, kisses, or even a new last name can change that.

But if you invest your time in cultivating your own self worth, you won’t have to look for the right man, he will find you.

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He is able

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“♪He is able.”

“♪He’s able.”

 

She sang, but her voice began to shake and finally, it cracked. Sucking in another labored breath she tried her best to continue.

 

“♫I know He’s able.”

 

As she sung the tears began again. But she knew she had to finish.

 

“♫I know my Lord is able to carry me through.”

 

She sung it like a question. But by the end she knew she had found the answer. She sang the chorus again. “♫He is able…” And this time, her voice was stronger, she was surer.

 

By the third time she sang it, there was no longer any doubt. It was certain. He is able. The tears stopped and she smiled. She sung with confidence and certainty and her voice rang true. She chuckled. Now she began to fear she would wake the neighbors. And again, she smiled.

 

That night she had thought of her fears. They were not abstract—simply mere shadows of the night. But they were real, vivid, and ever present. 

 

The thing was, she had brought her burden to Christ.

And after so many years, she knew He must have seen it.

Countless times she fell on her knees in prayer.

He must have heard it.

So many things she tried, each time with hope renewed as if the last failure was never present.

Surely He could recognize that.

 

She prayed for a change.

Then, she prayed for His will.

But still, there was no change.

So she began to accept maybe ‘thiswas His will.

 

She sprung up from her bed. And searched frantically through her drawers.  Finally her fingers jammed against the cover. When she picked up the book. She flipped and flipped, until she found the passage that she was looking for. It had been there all along; read and re-read, marked and highlighted, but only now did she understand.

 

2 Corinthians 12. She read it out loud.

 

“Because of all that Christ has revealed to me and done for me. If I wanted to boast, I could. But I don’t, lest others begin to think of me as greater than I am.  But God, in order to keep me from becoming arrogant, allowed me to have a great burden, “a thorn in my flesh: a messenger of Satan, to torment me.” Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take this away from me. But still He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness.” So now, because of Christ, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

 

I sat back and marveled. It seemed that there was nothing I could experience that God had not already prepared an answer for in His word. I thought God had left me in my weakness. Perhaps, He too, was even ashamed of me. But I began to see how He had made my weakness, into my strength. How He opened doors that I could have never walked through even had I been perfectly whole. What I had always saw as my burden. God was telling me was His perfection.

 

The truth is: as He works miracle after miracle in my life, I wish I could have taken the credit. I wish I could have said, thank you! Yep, it’s me who deserves the praise! But nothing could be farther from the truth. All He has done and will do in my life. I don’t deserve, I didn’t earn. And I can no longer hide behind a perceived impression of perfection. I AM WEAK! But He my friend, is STRONG 🙂