Confession.

Dry your eyes sweetheart.

He’s not your one in a million.

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Yeah, so I know you’ve been out there looking for your soul mate. Searching high and low, desperate to find anything thing that moves, breathes, and lifts up the seat when he pees.

But let me save you the agony and disappointment; the hours of standing in front of the mirror before you go out. Wondering if you are pretty enough, thin enough, or graceful enough for him to finally take notice. You spend hours watching youtube videos: learning how to paint your face so you can look like someone you’re not, on the outside, just to attract someone who you hope will like you for who you are, on the inside.

And when you find him. Though he is 5 steps removed from perfect. You manage to convince yourself that perhaps maybe he is still the one for you.
When you leave his presence you wonder if he likes you, how often he thinks about you, and if he might learn to love you. But the truth of the matter is; 9 times out of 10, you are obsessing over someone who can hardly remember your name.

Look, your biological clock is not running out, but your common sense is. You’re caught up in the allusion that he can change, instead of realizing that the real problem is you. You are lost. Looking for someone to love you, when you don’t even love yourself. You are empty, broken, and hurt by all the thousand and one ways you think life has disappointed you. But what you don’t realize is that when you value yourself solely on the basis of what others think of you, you are the one who is disappointing yourself.

What happened to being a woman of grace, confidence, and pride? What happened to valuing yourself enough to know when to walk away? How come we can no longer find happiness outside of someone else’s embrace? We weren’t made just to warm sheets!

Because when the night is over, the lust wears off, and the makeup washes off, it is still you who has to face yourself in the mirror each day. And if you can’t love what you see; no amount of hugs, kisses, or even a new last name can change that.

But if you invest your time in cultivating your own self worth, you won’t have to look for the right man, he will find you.

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