I have a problem- Faith

“Faith is not believing that God can. It is believing that He will.”

Wow!!! 

Man, I have a problem. You know what that problem is? All my epiphanies come at night. You know, the time I should be getting beauty sleep. But no. Instead of soaking in the tub, and preparing for bed. I am here yet again. Another epiphany. But hey at least things are getting better 🙂 My last epiphany, (i.e. when I felt like God was telling me something) I wasn’t ready to listen. It got so bad. It’s like I would seek His presence, but only as long as it didn’t convict me in the area I was struggling most. Man, I would go to youtube looking for sermons to listen to, but I would avoid any topic that seemed like it would start my guilt trip all over again.

 

Hey, it’s not like I didn’t try to change. I did. I really did. But I failed. Again, and again, and again. So I stopped trying. I just stopped. The guilt weighed me down so much that I started hating myself, and the things that once were joyful to me, became empty. I was empty. 

You don’t know how long this lasted. But God is soo good 🙂 He really NEVER gives up on us. It’s not like one day I woke up and was finally able to be the person He wanted me to be. Nope. The truth is I got so low, so empty, and so lost, that I realized I couldn’t help myself. I simply couldn’t. But then I read in His word that He will enable us to become who He wants us to be.

 

So I stopped trying, and tried Him. I told Him, “God, do something. Because I can’t.” And He did. And I feel so free, so happy 🙂 

lol, anyways, back to the main point. “Faith is not believing that God can. It is believing that He will!!”

Isn’t that amazing!! 

Do you know why this quote struck me so hard? Because at one point I was unable to pray. Literally unable to pray. And do you know why? Not because I didn’t believe in God. And not because I didn’t think He was good or able. But it was because I knew He saw where I was, and how I was suffering. I knew He could step in and help me. But He didn’t. And I stopped believing that he would. He was up there seeing my prayer–and that was it! And hey. I couldn’t blame the guy. That’s what I deserved. Nothing. I didn’t deserve anything from Him. 

But one day I realized that, that I was right!!! That, that is simply the beauty of God! We don’t deserve ANYTHING, but yet He has given us EVERYTHING. 

 

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