Posts Tagged ‘blame’

Blame game

People often gather to celebrate the victories, but their presence would have been more greatly felt in the defeats.



I woke up one day and realized that I was angry. That life, had made me angry. There was so much rage, bitterness, and anger. And it surprised me.


I don’t know when it happened. But it did.



Sadness, self-pity, disappointment, and depression often turns outward when the burden of self-blame becomes too much. We search for an object, a person, or an institution to blame. Anyone but ourselves. Perhaps if we pass the blame onto someone else, we no longer need to face our own demons. Instead we can turn sadness into anger. We can hold our parents, our teachers, our preacher accountable. We can say that our family rejected us. That the government neglected us. Or that God has left us.


The American Psychological Association defines anger as an “emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong.”


In life we often times feel that we have been wronged by certain people or society as a whole. And for those taught to believe in a higher being, they begin to hold Him accountable for every bad thing that has happened in their life.


A brother was brutally murdered.
A wife, raped and killed.
A child, left to die after multiple gunshots to the chest.


After overwhelming grief, sorrow often turns to anger.

Retribution is called for. Someone should pay! The guilty party should suffer to the extent of the law. But when that doesn’t bring peace or equanimity. We need a scapegoat—who better than God?


“Why did God allow…?”

“If God is good, then why…?”

“Where was God when…?”

“How could a good God let…?”


It’s amazing how many of us today believe in good without believing in evil. We can by a stretch of the imagination believe in God. But by that same stretch we don’t consider that there is a source of evil.


Did God promise us roses, sunsets, no hardships, or suffering? Yes, He did. And then he also gave us freedom. Freedom that enabled the ability for pure, unforced love. And freedom that also allowed for disobedience. The fruit was eaten. Mama Eve, and Papa Adam left the garden. And we came to the knowledge that though “all good things come from God,” saying yes to the fruit allowed Satan to also take hold of our lives. There entered destruction, war, famine, hardship, death, and suffering.


God is surely stronger and wiser than Satan, thus Satan will not roam free forever. But since God will never force us to love him, or command us to follow him, we now have this freedom: to choose who will be our God, and find which side we will serve.




The sun was hot, and I was thirsty. I could see the bugs starting to take residence near my toes, and so I kept fidgeting. That morning, in a rushed attempt to be conservative I had worn a cashmere sweater over a dress that showed a little ‘too much’ of my arms. But at this point, all sense of propriety vanished as I felt myself roasting under the hot sun. I slyly took off my sweater and tried to pay attention to the man who was currently speaking. We were in the middle of nowhere, hick-town Massachusetts, and church was taking place outside. Mentally preparing myself for another out of touch sermon from someone who could probably relate best to those in my grandparents generation, I settled in for the long haul.

The preacher had this thick black mustache that started from beneath his nose, and traveled all the way down to the bottom his face, leaving his chin freely exposed. I was still examining the complexity of his mustache (wondering if it grew that way naturally, or if he had altered it in some way), when his lips began to move. His words pulled me out of my thoughts and I heard him say,

“How much can you lose, before you begin to blame God?”

And with that, ladies and gents, I was riveted. They could have told me Usher Raymond was waiting for me in the back room, and I would have said he should hold on!! I don’t know what it is, but when I see someone who has been through hell and back, and still comes out praising God. It leaves me breathless. It makes me think, that well, maybe I can do it too.

The pastor continued saying, “Faith, is not hoping in Christ when all is well, but trusting in Him when all seems lost.”

You see, there is something quite remarkable about meeting someone who has gone through immense struggle, pain, or loss. You fully expect the joy to have left their eyes, the spring to be gone from their step. You expect them to wear the burdens of their past or their present firmly upon their shoulders. Yet it is even more astonishing to meet someone who has felt searing helplessness, pain, and misery, but each day you see them make a conscious effort to not let the consequences of life, mar the beauty of being alive.

It is so easy to stay faithful when everything is going well in your life. But when struggles come instead of thinking that God has left you, it’s time for you to ask yourself: were you following God just for His blessings?

Did you think you could play God like a vending machine?? Putting your request in and expecting your every desire to come out?

Or are you with Him for the long haul!? Are you like His disciples who said: “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” (John 6:68)

Look, the fact of the matter is: God uses trials to build your faith. But He never puts you in a situation in which He can’t use you or your circumstances. You are covered in grace. So, never underestimate what God can do with your life!