Posts Tagged ‘happiness’

Not special, but Strong

Sometimes you have to remind yourself that you are strong. Stronger than you know. Stronger than you give yourself credit for. Strong despite those who left you or hurt you. Your worth is not a variable that someone can thumbs up on Facebook, or unfollow on Twitter. Your worth is grounded in who you are. Who God made you to be. Even on your worst day, after your biggest mistakes, in your loneliest places, you are worth something.

 

No matter how much loss you’ve experienced, rejection you face or road blocks in your way, the fact that you are still here, still alive, still waking up each morning, putting one foot in front of the other and weathering whatever storm life brings, proves your strength! I don’t care if you break down and cry, or get lost in periods of depression or self-hate. I see your strength when you put on a brave face and show up to work on time, smile at a stranger, or make dinner for your kids.

 

Take time to appreciate how far you have come without drowning in the awareness that there is still further yet to go. Notice the wounds that have become scars. Maybe they aren’t fully healed, and maybe they are still tender to the touch, but Praise God for the ones that no longer bleed!

 

This life is hard; but take comfort in the fact that your struggles don’t make you special, because we—individuals all over the world, are with you, struggling together. Your struggle is like a unique snowflake but together we are snow helping each other stay alive, whereas alone we might melt. Today I am praying for you, in the same way I hope you are praying for me. That we keep fighting, we keep surviving, and we keep overcoming.

 

You are strong! Find your strength.

 

 

 

 

Victim mentality

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When you begin to think about all the negative things that were done to you or against youthe people who betrayed you, mistreated you, or left you… 

 

    Do you see yourself as a victim?

 

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Somehow the effect of others on our own lives is sometimes unreasonably magnified. We begin to see ourselves through the eyes of other people instead of seeking ownership of our own identify in order to flourish despite hardship. To allow the actions of others to change you in a negative way is to give them a power over you they don’t deserve. It makes you twice a victim: a victim in the moment of abuse or hurt, and forever a victim holding on to a hurt that festers and multiples. We let ourselves become bitter and disenchanted, continually carrying a chip on our shoulder, when we should just take whatever pieces of wisdom and life lessons that experience taught us and live life fully empowered.

 

As a victim often times you are living with a burden that your abuser does not share. They may have moved on with their lives, but you can’t… or won’t let yourself do the same. The greatest comeback from any kind of difficult situation is happiness with self and peace. You are not your pain, or your abuse. You are greater than that and you have the power to mentally let go of the pain that you may have physically walked away from years ago.

 

Life is more than a series of good or bad events that happened to you. Well at least it can be more than that, if you decide to be an active participant in your own life. You are sitting in a parked car, and as the seasons change the heavy rain fall turns to bitter hail. All around you looks bleak and gloomy. But you are unaware that right across the street from you is a gas station. If you look into your pocket you will find enough bills for you fill your tank. Key in hand, tank full. YOU decide where you go. You can drive to the safety of shelter and rest close by, or if you are willing to travel a little further you can dwell in warmth and sunshine. You have the key. Your future direction is in your hand.

 

The past has already been written, but your future is a clean slate of endless opportunities. Be encouraged.

Happy

 

I started about three years ago, recording videos every once in a while, in which I would talk about the things on my mind. I’d gossip to the camera about my own life: the positive breakthroughs, my loved ones, school, and the things I was worrying about at that moment. Sometimes all it’d be is a video of me crying, and not actually saying anything comprehensible. What was the purpose of that you might ask? Well to me it has served as a history of my highs and lows. I can look back and observe my state of mind, the things that were bothering me and see if they were resolved, or if they still aren’t.

I can see how I’ve changed, how I’ve grown, and the ways I’ve stayed the same. And even though there were highs as well as lows in my life I realized I felt the lows more strongly and quickly forgot the highs. Today I logged in another video and literally my exact words when I started recording was “I am so happy.” And I am. 🙂  I’m really happy, and that’s a first. I have a type A personality so for me to not be obsessing over anything is a rarity. Your first inclination may be to ask why? Or what happened that has made me so happy? And the answer is simple. Nothing has happened. 🙂 At least nothing external has happened.

 

My life is not seemingly more perfect than it was a year ago, or 6 months ago, or even a week ago. In fact God has been consistently awesome throughout my life. Yeah I have faced challenges and letdowns that to me—at the time—felt life-shattering. But that is my point. At that “time” it “felt” what I considered to be “life-shattering.” But it in fact did not shatter my life, and how I felt was constrained by time.

 

There are a couple things I have recently come to the realization of:

 

  1. There are very few things that time will not heal.

    Okay so I know you’re reading this and you’ve heard this all before, but you think this statement is not true, or at least that it doesn’t apply to you. That you’re facing something right now that time will not heal. And how do you know this? Well because you’re feeling this pain at this exact moment, and it’s so strong, and has lasted for so long–so surely it will last forever. But humanity has a certain resilience and a great emotional capacity to heal. It may take years. But you can overcome whatever event that has caused you pain—just be patient with yourself.

  2. Happiness – lasting happiness will never come solely from achievements

    …or fame, or another person’s love, etc. Yes these things in that moment can make us happy, but that feeling will not last. The truth is: there is at every moment things in our life that we can dwell on that can make us either happy or unhappy. And it is up to us to make that conscious decision to be happy. Which brings us to my next point,

  3. Happiness is a choice.

    You need to decide you want to live a happy life, and realize that your happiness is up to you. You cannot forever choose to be a victim of circumstance. You have to decide that you will control your emotions; and that your emotions will not control you. And that comes with realizing how easily we let our emotions envelop us. For years I’ve let sadness envelop me and recently I realized I do the same thing with anger. It consumes me and I simply self-implode. Once I realized this I decided to be more purposeful with the way I handle my life and my feelings. So on to the last point:

  4. Be purposeful.

    Why are you unhappy, or angry, or sad, or worried? If you don’t even have quiet time to reflect on your life, how can you improve it? How much time do you take in the day for you? I find peace when I go to the gym every day; it’s a time when I’m doing something just for me. When I walk the 30 minutes from home to work every day instead of using my car, I get time to listen to a sermon, or a TED talk, to think, unwind, and be purposeful about my day. As someone who has struggled with certain things, I have learned what my triggers are and try as much as possible to stay away from those situations.

In closing I just want to encourage you to stop looking for things outside of yourself to bring you lasting happiness. You need to decide to love yourself enough to listen to what you need, and with strength from God you can live the life you want and have the happiness you desire regardless of external circumstances.

I wish you well on your journey to  a happier you 🙂

 

God First

It has been almost 5 months since my last post… Yeah. I am as unimpressed as you should be. I have been too busy just existing. 2012 was a very hard year for me. And it all boils down to one reason. I didn’t put God first. I put EVERYTHING before God, and yes I hurt God, but I also hurt myself. Before I didn’t even know what to write, but now I know. Sometimes we think we follow God to make Him Happy. But the truth is. We follow God, because He gives us TRUE happiness. God gave me a second chance. Actually, He gave me a couple of second chances. This time, is the LAST time, and by His grace: I live for HIM. I speak for HIM. I exist for HIM. And I will write for HIM as well. I hope you will join me. Its going to be a great year 🙂

“You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” -Psalms 16:11

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