Posts Tagged ‘heart break’

You are strong

I’m only doing this whole writing thing again because multiple people have told me I should start writing again. So this one is for all of you who have encouraged me, thank you.

 

I try to be honest when I’m writing, and the honest truth a lot of times isn’t really inspiring or encouraging or even pretty, so I previously had decided to kind of keep quiet. I figured if I couldn’t encourage anyone with what I’m saying, I shouldn’t say anything. … Ehh maybe it’s more than that too though. Maybe I’ve been afraid to be fully vulnerable just in case people I actually know read this. But forget them(!), I will continue to speak whatever comes to my mind. But for those people who do know me personally, just a small disclaimer: not everything I write about fully describes me, some things are about those close to me or things I’ve observed and learned from others. You could waste time trying to find me in everything I say, or you could sit back, and enjoy what is relevant to you, and ignore what isn’t.

 

There is value in honest reflection I think. Today I did read something interesting that someone shared on fb about how a lot of times people are fake in their marriages etc. pretending everything is perfect, and how that can lead to mental health issues, suicidal thoughts, etc. which I think is very true. That’s not completely relevant to me or anything. I’m not married or divorced even (yet lol), so I can’t claim much wisdom there. I have gotten my heart broken-shattered- but I don’t really have much wisdom to offer on that. I don’t believe in regrets so I don’t regret anything in life that has happened. The people who entered my life, the things I’ve done, or whatever in my life that has happened, has happened. At many points in life I may have done foolish things but with the limited wisdom I had at the time I did the best I could. To spend time in regret is to make yourself miserable. Learn from the past and improve. But stay away from the “if onlys” and “what ifs.”

 

In terms of the whole getting your heart stomped on and recovering from that, or in fact recovering from any grief in your family, school, losing a loved one- my advice would be you are stronger than you think. Seriously. YOU ARE STRONG. Yeah at some point you’re gonna feel like the pain is gonna literally kill you. But you gotta fake moving on until slowly you find happiness again. Like at first you won’t even be fooling yourself. But give yourself time. My mom says it takes twice as much time to recover from something as the time you were in it. If it took you 3 months to put on the weight, it might take you 6 months to get rid of it. If you were in a relationship for 1 year it might take you two years to get over it. I must say that’s the most depressing ‘ish’ I’ve heard in my life but I kinda think it’s true. We humans are fragile beings, especially mentally. Literally most of the battles we face in life are internal. Learning to love yourself, looking in the mirror and liking what you see, learning to find happiness in yourself, being self confident, and not being so affected by the things people say–those struggles are things no one sees. But also too, another thing my mom always says is that if something is for you, it will always be for you. Some things are meant to be, so you hopeless romantics out there, don’t give up hope.

 

Okay, I’m done talking about love/relationship/(weight loss lol) issues. Seems everyone has them but eish we don’t have to waste all our time talking about it. Lets talk about you, you as an individual.

If you lived on this planet by yourself, I mean no one else but you. No significant other. What would you do? You don’t have to work, there is an ample supply of food. You have the means to do and go anywhere, what would you do?

 

Your answer to this question will tell you what things in life make you happy. Maybe it’s traveling or reading, or hiking, or whatever. And if you don’t have an answer for this question maybe you don’t know yet what makes you happy. Friendly advice- figure it out.

 

Okay lets try that again, but this time there are people in the world. You have your fam, a lover or two, some friends, whatever, but still, no work, no concerns as to where you are gonna sleep or eat, and there is no money, so wealth is not a goal. What would you do with your life?

 

I really want you to think about this because it’s extremely important. Your answer to this question will address: WHY ARE YOU ALIVE? Seriously, why are you here? Work, money, is a means of survival yes, but are you working to live or living to work. I feel like a lot of people are living to work. Living to get that education, then to get that job, then to get that retirement, and before you know it you’re dead, and you’re still waiting to achieve something before you can be happy. But if on the other hand you feel that you are one of the few that are in fact working to live, then when you aren’t working, how are you living?

 

Here is a test I have used on myself this past year to push myself to figure out if I am really living.

I ask myself “Are you ready to die right now, in this moment?” If my answer is no, then I know that I haven’t been living in this moment. I’m either stuck in the past – what could have been, or the future, what will be, and I am missing out on right now – what currently is.

 

Okay, that’s all folks. I’m off to school/work so y’all have a good day!

Don’t miss me too much. I’ll be back soon this time, I promise.

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