Posts Tagged ‘peace’

A letter to myself

Lose sight of perfection, and get lost in the journey. Be okay with falling, failing. Be okay with scars. Be okay with never being quite good enough. Be okay if the finish line moves with every step you take. As you improve so do the expectations placed on you. As you go high, anticipate harder falls. But when you fall, don’t stay down. Don’t stay defeated.

 

Don’t let sadness engulf you or misery define you. When people criticize you take whatever you can from it, but do not internalize it. Hear it, listen to it, learn from it, and let it go.

 

Don’t let the sadness of a previous day follow you for the rest of the week. Don’t hide yourself from hurt. Allow it to hit you like a wave, then wash it away. Wake up every day and try your best. Brush your teeth, take a shower, and be grateful for another day.

 

Let perspective find you, let joy lift you up. Find a shoulder to cry on, and if none appear, tell your troubles to Jesus. He has the kindest ear, the softest heart, the biggest smile, and a light that brings cheer.

 

You are okay, if not, you will be. The weight you carry will grow lighter as you become stronger. Believe in yourself the way you believe in others. Have faith, love, and hope. Be kind, and don’t forget to smile.

 

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Condemnation

 

Today I take the power away from you to tear me down with your words. To shake my confidence. To make me feel like I am a failure. I won’t let you or anyone else have that power. Not anymore.

 

Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” (John 8:10)

 

When you derive your sense of worth from anything outside of God, it can easily be taken away. The same people, person, institution that builds you up can tear your down in a single instance. With a single word. Even if you derive your worth from your sense of self, one day you will inevitably fall short even by your own standards.

 

“No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. (John 8:11)

 

You may not feel worthy, or deserving, or even good. But God doesn’t shun you in your brokenness. Jesus doesn’t kick us when we are down; He extends His hands to lift us up.

 

Be lifted up oh my soul. You are a child of the King.

 

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Healing words

What does healing look like? 

Healing looks like peace. Like restful nights, and deep sleep. 

Healing looks like no one in your triangle of hurt changing but you. 

It looks like you recognizing the power to end your hurt is within the palms of your own hands. 

You no longer dwell in the past or hope longingly for a predicted future. You are fufilled in the present, the now. 

You finally realize that you do not need any one person to come back to you or to smile at you or to love you for you to begin to heal. 

But you decide for yourself that no one on this earth should have the power to take away your happiness.Most times people are not trying to hurt you but rather they are simply looking out for their own interests. And we the bystanders are often caught in the crossfire. 

Once you recognize you are not anyone’s priority you can begin making yourself your own priority. Not in a self serving way but in a way that recognizes that God gave you the tools you need to be happy, and he didn’t place your happiness or peace in the hands of anyone, but your own.

Sleep

I am encased by this deep fear.
Night after night sleep evades me.
I seek peace but I cannot reach it.
An enemy chases me that I cannot see.

I call out to my Father, but I don’t know if He hears me.
I am wandering this dark forest alone with no one to guide me.
I ask for direction and all I hear is silence.
I seek love and help from those who dwell on this earth with me,
but their aid is lost just as quickly as it was found.

The journey overwhelms me. I fall, and there is no one to catch me.

I call to my Father in hope that He help me.
That He heed my plight.

I want to give up on hearing His voice.
To claim that He isn’t there,
that He doesn’t care.

But I know He is there.
Standing quietly,
looking on lovingly.
Telling me that the night doesn’t last forever.
That light and relief come with the morning.

So I bide my time and wait.
When I can no longer form words,
and a cry is on my lips,
I just call His name,
Jesus, Jesus,
and I find the peace I need to sleep.

Hated me first

 

hate-debt

 

      They threw stones and it hurt

 

      I fell, tasted blood

 

      or was it dirt.

 

Life is such that you can either disappoint people or you can disappoint yourself. People can hate you, or you can hate yourself. It’s easy to stay in a place of sadness and self pity, but wallowing in misery does nothing to change your circumstances. At some point you need to accept the hand life has dealt you. Accept the the bad times just like you accepted the good and move forward. You can’t force anyone to stay in your life if they have decided it’s their time to go. God has a wonderful way of showing you what is right by taking things away, bringing new things in, and letting some of the old stay.

 

People often have negative things to say but if at every point in life you stay true to yourself and who you are, don’t worry about what everyone else has to say. Luke 6:26 says “Woe unto you, when all men speak well of you.” Instead of focusing on people who quite frankly don’t put food on your table, pay your bills, wake you up every morning, or lift you up when you’re down–focus on God who helps you do all these things. As a Christian when you realize Jesus was hated by many, it’s easier to accept that no matter who you are, people will hate you. In John 15:18, Jesus said, “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.”

 

    Take heart. God Bless.

Unplugged

unplugged

The negative thing about social media is that often times it distracts you from reality. On social media we create perceptions of ourselves and our lives and we feed it to the masses. We showcase our best pictures, our most witty sayings, and our great triumphs. We often skip over the hurdles, pretend everything is perfect behind the scenes, and feed off of likes, shares, and comments of those who are on the very periphery of our everyday lives.

Social media is like a fairy tale. And like most fairy tales, it makes the reality in comparison something disappointing. Social media encourages jealously, envy, and feelings of self inadequacy. Life without social media would force one to be more plugged into actual face-to-face, person-to-person interactions. We would see events simply as experiences and memories, instead of as something to document and share with everyone we know, and even those we don’t really know.

Maybe your personal satisfaction with your life, family, and your significant other, might seem more substantial without being constantly compared–whether consciously or unconsciously–with others. Maybe you would cherish those in your life who stick around for every up and down a little more. Maybe you’d value each conversation you have and every event you went to if you were actually focused on the now instead of on the notifications. Try being unplugged for a bit, and maybe you will find that you, your life, and your relationships are better for it.

Still standing

Sometimes it is so hard to wait. We spend so much of life hurrying. Hurrying to accomplish one thing or the other. So when we get to the point where there is nothing left to do but wait, hope, and pray, it can cause us to unravel.

The past year of my life was never in my plans. I’m doing something I’d never fathomed I’d do. In a place I never thought I’d be. But I’m here. And though there are a lot of ups and downs which remind me I’m still alive. It’s truly been the most amazing year. I’ve learned so much about myself, what I want in life, even the things I thought I wanted, and now realize I actually don’t. I’ve lost myself, found myself, and lost myself again. I’ve lost people in my life, kept a few people, and gained some pretty amazing people as well.

I think this year has calmed me. It has made me question why am I really alive. And what my purpose on this earth actually is. I’ve realized my dreams are not the dreams of other people and that that is okay. My thinking about family, friendships, children, the future, religion, and education may be a bit queer and out of the norm. But I like it that way. I’ve realized my purpose is different. And as long as I stay true to that I will never be afraid of the passing of time. I will embrace change, and I will thrive in it.

I will go to the places I want to go, experience the things I want to experience, let go of the people who don’t want to come along for the ride, and hold on to those that do.

I used to be afraid of disappointment, and pain. But now I don’t hide from it. I see the rain falling and I dance in it. I make goals and I reach them. I don’t speak much, but instead I listen. I watch. I prepare, and I wait.

I grew up wishing I was somebody else, and hoping to fit into a segment of society that honestly is too small for me. I can’t be confined by other peoples ideas of happiness, I want to build my own.

I choose to jump off the bandwagon of popular thoughts, ambitions, and goals, and live a life that is uniquely my own. I want to change the world. And the first step is to change myself, my thoughts, and my vision.

quuen king down chess