Posts Tagged ‘problems’

#firstworldproblems

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I tend not to complain out loud about my problems unless I am talking to my mother– since we all know it’s every mom’s duty to listen dutifully to just about everything you have to say regardless of whether you are 25 or 40. If I complain about my issues to anyone else it might sound overwhelmingly like #firstworldproblems, an impression that may only be partly wrong. I called my mom once… –just last week if I’m being honest–in the middle of the night after I hadn’t been able to sleep all night for 3 nights in a row, plagued by my own mental demons, and she picked up. She picked up– even though at that time she was with a patient who would be taken off life support soon.

 

She was just reading a few bible verses to him, and I am pretty sure he couldn’t hear her and was totally unaware of his surroundings or anything else for that matter, but I was shocked that she as a physician was taking time out of doing her rounds to read some verses for a patient that couldn’t hear her and to pray for him before he passed… and also that amidst all this that she picked my call because she was worried about me. I proceeded to tell her I was completely fine, she should get back to work and after I hung up I began to cry. The perspective that the call gave me forced me to tell myself that: hey you should be happy and grateful you’re not deathly ill or dying, and that your problems are so small, and in the grand scheme of things– probably even meaningless.

 

But the truth is minimizing our problems by comparing them to someone with bigger problems can be both helpful and at the same time hurtful. It can invalidate your hurt and your pain and trust me it is incredibly hard to heal from something you don’t fully let yourself feel. If you don’t come to terms with pain in your life because ‘hey there are people starving in Africa and you have it much better than them,’ which may very well be true, but that doesn’t mean that your suffering, albeit privileged suffering, is any less real or any less hurtful. Much of our own life is shaped by our mind–our thoughts, and thoughts can be powerful enough to cause a person to pull a trigger, jump of a bridge, or prevent them from trying to achieve something they have always wanted to achieve.

 

It is good to be grateful and to see life from a perspective other that your own. Be thankful for your privilege. But also be gentle with yourself. Know that it is okay to let the small things sometimes get to you. It’s okay to not be invincible all the time. To feel weak, overwhelmed. It’s okay to simply just let yourself feel. Now it’s another thing to dwell, to sink, to never move forward. But just for today I want you to be honest with yourself about the emotions you’ve been keeping bottled up, the frustrations laying there right under the surface of all the pretense and fake smiles and cheerful demeanor. If you can’t be real to people at least be real to yourself, because honesty takes you to a place where true healing can finally begin.

 

You [don’t] deserve better

What do you do when the problem is you?

Okay, let me rephrase that. What do you do when you’re the one with blood on your shirt, smoking gun in hand, and fingerprints all over the crime scene?

i.e. You Screwed up!

Sigh. Let’s just start from the beginning.

So you remember that person you never thought you’d be? Yeahh, that girl. The clingy one, unstable, with serious emotional issues? Or that guy who girls look at then run the other way?? I mean you grew up, just assuming you’d have ‘swag.’ But then you got diagnosed with halitosis and inherited your pop’s double chin.

Sigh. Life’s rough, I know. Though I’m pretty sure it’s rough for the majority of the world too. So let’s not waste much time pitying ourselves.
I went online the other day looking for some motivation, and all I saw were some trite self absorbed posts about how: “You don’t need him,” and “you deserve better,” or “she wasnt meant for you.”

And then I just sat back and thought to myself. Dangg. Unless we are all living in some kind of fairytale, (that I was never invited to, I might add). The ‘other’ person is not always wrong, or messed up. Sometimes the person with the issues is you!

You’re the one with the drama and the baggage.

Darling. If the same things keep happening to you over and over again, eventually it should start to dawn on you that there are one of two options: Either the whole world is all the same–and sucks miserably. Or child. You are a bit messed up.

So my advice? Stop trying to fix others, and fix yourself. Heal, grow, learn, move on, and play the cards you were dealt with in this life. Life aint always sunshine, but imma try to hold out for the rainbow after the rain.

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Be the better you deserve.

Good luck 😉